Electric Twist

Today was pretty decent. Not very much happened, but I'm in one of those "productive" moods. I definitely love it. I'm totally stoked for this year. I want to make it one of the best. Of course, so far a few things have already gotten in my way, buuuut whatever. It's gonna be okay. To change the topic: I helluh love Post Secret. Anyone who's reading this should know what it is(if not, go look it up!). So I'm making a new list of goals for the school year and sending in a secret is one of them, since I didn't do it this summer. Well, yeah. Maybe when I figure out my goals completely I'll post them up here. Sound good?

I love A Fine Frenzy. I think she's strangely beautiful.



p.s. you looked really, really cute today :]

Sitting in restaurants; thought we were so grown up

Today was the first day of school. I'm officially a Junior. Damn. That's such a hard concept for me to grasp, like actually. I still feel like a Freshman. It's so weird how quickly high school seems to go by...I thought I would be stuck there forever, but I'm almost done. How strange. They fucked fucked my schedule up the ass, so I had to fill out a petition to get it changed...I'm still waiting for it too...urgh.
Anyways, I've decided that this year will stay drama free. I always say that I want it to be drama free or whatever, every year...but I'm really going to stay out of it this year. I feel like there's so many other things that are way more important than some boy or a rumor being spread. I feel like I've drifted away from people I really care about and I think it's time to reconnect.
So this year will be a good year and nothing will stop me.

When there's nothing left to say, I hear that life moves on

Friends tend to grow apart at one point or another. It's pretty much inevitable. Okay, that's not always true, but for some reason it usually happens. I haven't yet met a girl that I've stayed friends with for more than a couple of years. I usually get hurt in a certain situation and end up not trusting that person any longer. I end up losing all of my respect for them. They usually get themselves in some ridiculous situation and expect me to get them out of it. I understand helping someone out when they're in need, but when it's constant I tend to get annoyed after a while. Especially when I give them my all and they don't give theirs in return. That's probably the worst. It really hurts me. I don't know why I get so sensitive over things like that. I really don't. But when your supposed to be someone's "best friend", you can't take them for granted and expect them to always be there for you when you're not there in return. It's unfair and not a real friendship. I'm not saying that I'm not friends with someone any longer, we're just going through a rough patch and it's really difficult to handle.
I feel like I'm always there for you, taking care of you, listening to you, complaining about things you can fix and refuse to do so, asking for advice then throwing it back in my face, calling someone your best friend who sure doesn't give a fuck about you, doing things you shouldn't be doing, and mostly forgetting about those who really do love you. I'm like a magic little pill you take that helps you out when you're in need. I can't be that anymore. I love you, I really do and I know what I just said was a bit harsh, but you've really hurt me and I don't know what to do anymore. Can you just be my friend again? I don't know who you are anymore.

Zac Efron?

He's still pretty fuckin' cute. :]

The past week has been totally chaotic. Disneyland was pretty cool except for the fact I spent Thursday night puking my guts out. Fun, fun...Four words: I hate family vacations. Family isn't even the right word. Dysfunctional people who appeared in my life 7 or 8 years ago (minus Danyella) who occupy my other "home". From now on, I'm going to get a life so I don't get stuck going on these so called "family vacations" that aren't ever all that great. Anyways, I'm officially home now! Like, in Albany. Finally! I drove here too :] Speed racer fersure! So basically, I get to see my girls tomorrow night. I'm SO excited! We have plans. ;] Can you say watching the sunrise from Indian Rock then making blueberry pancakes after? I can!

Disneyland

Supposedly it's the happiest place on Earth- Except when you're going with your unhappy father and his insane girlfriend plus her three kids. A seven hour drive through the desert with all of us shoved into one car. Who will I kill first? I don't know yet. Hopefully I don't go insane before school starts...oh well. Anyways, I don't know if I'll have a computer while I'm down there, soooooo yeah. Wish me luck?

When you're trying hard to be your best, could you be a little less?

I'm leaving for a week tomorrow and just want to say a couple of things that have been on my mind for the past few days.
First of all, why is that people can't say no? Seriously now. It's not that hard to let someone down. Everyone is always like, "but I don't want to hurt their feelings... I feel bad about it..." JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Who cares if you hurt their feelings! They'll get over it! Really, they will. I don't mean to sound like an inconsiderate bitch, and saying no can be hard at times, don't get me wrong, but it's usually for the best. Sometimes if you say no to someone, you can end up finding someone else, instead of wondering why you got stuck with the person you didn't say no to. So...just say no.
Love. Fuck it. It's annoying, frustrating, dramatic, and complicated. Why the hell would anyone want to be in love with another person? It's ridiculous! There's all these emotions that are attached and of course, the best friends that come along with the two "lovers". Why is it that we have this strange connection with another being? Why can't we just all be alone and be happy? It's so difficult. The way I see it is that you can't just jump from one relationship to another within a matter of days. Literally, days. You need time to heal and get over that other person...ALONE. Having another person of your "desire" in your life is not something that should be important at the moment, other than getting your life pieced back together. People believe that being alone is a horrible and terrifying thing, but really, once you're alone it's not bad at all. Sure, it gets lonely, but so what! Go cuddle up next to a cat or something. If you're alone, you're usually alone with someone else, so technically, you're together in being alone. So you're never really alone. If you're not happy with the person your with, get rid of them. Find someone else that fulfills your standards. If you don't have standards, get some. Seriously. If you don't love someone when they say they love you, don't wait and decide that you'll eventually love them. Bullshit. You either love someone or you don't. Stop settling. And most importantly: no one is going to love you, if you don't love yourself. I can't stress that enough.



P.S. I hate drunk texts. It's fucking degrading.

Oil on my hands

I did some a pretty stupid thing the other day, so I haven't really had any outside communication lately...actually, really, really stupid. But that's not the point. Things have eased up a bit with my mother so it's not too much of a big deal now. Anyways, life's been pretty good lately other than that thing! I hung out with Kana today and reconnected since we haven't seen one another in forever. Annnnnd! Remy's home now! 3 musketeers reunion? I would say so. :]