every woman looks better in a sundress.

I hate winter. It's so depressing, and I'm so white. It's too cold to go out and actually do stuff. I've been indoors basically all day just reading. It makes me feel like a total bum. Where are you, sunshine?




P.S. I need plans for New Years! I refuse to be stuck indoors like I have been for the past two years.

saint nick.

Merry Christmas! :]
Today was a very successful day. My aunt came down last night and she spent today with me and my mama. So yeah :] I love her so much, I know I say it all the time, but she's made a huge difference in my life. She's taught me a lot. I'm glad she's been around a lot more lately. Oh yeah! Before I forget, my bfffe dropped off the best christmas present ever this afternoon! Kana made me a scrapbook of all the wonderful times we've had together. I loved it so much. It was SO awesome. No lie. So I'm rubbing it in your faces because I told Kana I would. :D

infection.

My nose ring is infected. :[ I'm going to change it back to a stud on tuesday hopefully. Winter break is finally here! I want to sleep so badly. Today was extremely long.
That is all.
goodnight.

fuck off.

If you don't like what I'm writing-- don't fucking read it. No one is forcing you to. It's my blog. I can write about what I please. Whether it's about a boy or a friend, it's not your place to judge me. So stop criticizing it.

I dropped acid on a saturday night just to see what the fuss was about.

I want to go out for one night and everything turn out right. I want to have fun and let my guard down a little bit. Every time I go out, something horrible happens. I'm not exaggerating either. It's true; I have a few good stories to tell(not here, though). It's like fates way of telling me to stay in and read a book. I hate it! Don't get me wrong, I'm totally okay with staying in for the most part, but when I actually do go out, I want to make the best of it. I'm scared that if something happens, everyone will be too fucked up to care or do anything about it. I just don't want to be put into another bad situation. I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to call anyone out(i'm really not), but if you can't even take care of your friend because "you can't stand the smell/sight of puke" or "deal with how they're behaving"...Well, I think you need to fucking deal or just not go out at all. If that person dies or is seriously injured while you're with them, you're responsible for their life. Am I wrong? I don't mean to go all Mama Hen on anyone, but seriously? Have some fucking compassion and grow up. Stop being so damn selfish.
I think it's my turn to have a good time. I feel like I haven't in a long time. Am I being unreasonable?

I'm trying to let you know that

YOU ARE BEAU⋅TI⋅FUL
why are you the only one who can't see that?
love yourself, please.

I am healing, but it's taking so long.

Is it wrong that I still keep tabs on you? That I drive by your house whenever I get the chance to? Or that I still dream of you from time to time? I feel like it's a necessity. Just to make sure you're still alive. I know you're gone, and most likely are never coming back, but sometimes I still wonder if you'll show up randomly one day when I least expect it. I hope for that almost everyday, just to show you who I've become. I'm not the little girl you met. I've grown up, I've changed. I'm not so innocent anymore. I'll keep looking out the back window just in case you happen to finally be there one day.

december, come to me.

It's raining again. :] I looooooove the rain. I know I've said this before in a previous blog. but seriously. i love it. I just don't like this whole really really really REALLY cold thing. We live in the bay. It should NOT be this cold.ever. It's December! But it doesn't even feel like it. It sucks. I want stormy nights and sunny days that are FREEZING. And candy canes and those annoying people that ring their bells outside stores trying to get you to donate money. I want a christmas tree with presents under it, and holiday music. Except I haven't yet experienced that. When I was little December WAS Christmas. Everyone was always shopping, and there was holiday music, and the tree was up twinkling and there were presents. I haven't had that in years. I hate the holidays. I also love them. I can't decide. C'mon holidays, brighten my day.
I'm in one of those moods where I don't know what mood I'm in. It's a bit annoying.
This weekend was okay. Ginger making was on Saturday which was pretty cool. I've just been in a super shitty mood recently, so everything is out of whack. Hopefully this week will be a good one.
By the way- How fucking DARE you call ME. Stay OUT of my life. Have I not made that clear enough for you? I don't want to be your friend.